Straight Talk: Children Are People Too

In the midst of busy schedules, bill payments, chaos of working, and everything in between, every now and then there comes a time when you realize that you are kind of an amazing parent!

I shall share my moment 🙂

So last year the boys began to save their allowance for the game Disney Infinitey Marvel. It just so happened that Santa surprised them with it instead! So they decided that they would spend some of their money on new character figures for the game instead.

In order to do this, I would have to go to Kroger to exchange their coins for dollars, first.

Let me begin by saying that I a very comfortable home body. If it isn’t going to work, the gym, or taking the kids back and forth to school, I would much rather just be at home, I HATE deviating from my routine route!

So the day comes for all of this to go down. I picked the kids up from school, according to my daily route, I should then just head back home. So badly, I wanted to just cancel on them, make up an excuse, tell them that we would go another day.
Instead I bit the bullet, and we went to exchange the coins for dollars, and on to Toys R Us!

While there K2 & K3 found the characters that they wanted, but K1 however, could not find the one that he wanted.
Naturally, he was disappointed. Imagine being soooo excited for a certain day to come, thinking about it all through school, only to be disappointed in the end….that was K1.

So I told him that he could either pick a different character, or wait, and we’d go to Walmart and see if they had that specific character there. He chose to wait.

GREAT!!! Now I have to make yet ANOTHER EXTRA STOP!!!

I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!

On our way there, I asked him a few questions about his day at school. He spoke in an unsual pitch, and was smiling for no reason…smiling hard…It was weird.
Didn’t take me long to realize that he was literally smiling to keep from crying.

I decided to just leave him alone and allow him time to process through his emotions.
I admit, I did start praying to God that Walmart had this toy.
I know it is a silly prayer, but I am a mother, I pray for my child, and at that moment that was his prayer.

I’m sure God answers kid’s prayers too.

It was then that I had my “Ah Ha” moment. I began to think about the big picture of parenting.
Here I was going out of my way, above and beyond, and nothing was in it for me.
That’s love.

I began to wonder how many other moms would do this?
How many would have just MADE him pick out a different toy, as if his choices didn’t matter?
Scold him for feeling sad, tell him to “just be grateful”, as if his feelings did not matter?

I admit, making him pick a different character did cross my mind, so did making him wait another day (I REALLY wanted to go home). Now I am glad that I didn’t.

In that moment, I was proud of him. He knew what he wanted and instead of settling for instant gratificiaction, just choosing any character he bit the bullet, he was patient, he waited for what he really wanted.

Then, I looked at the role that I played in that scene, and I became proud of myself. Proud because I allowed him to make his own decision, for respecting his emotions, for acknowledging his person.

His emotions, like my own, were a sum of his expectations and his reality, his are no less important than my own, simply because he is inside a smaller body.

He is still a person, a human being, who has hopes, dreams, expectations, desires, goals, all within the realm of his very own understanding. His desires are just as real to him, just as necessary to him, as mine are to me.

The only difference, is that he still needs my help to bring his to reality (kind of how we all need God’s help….but that is another post).

I am more than grateful for being able to be a stepping stone for him.
I am even more grateful that he was an aid into my own revelation, to understanding my children more. To be more cognitive of their choices, before I shun them off unimportantly, or force them to make a decision, that is not of their own.

So thank you K1, for being you, and reminding this servant, of exactly how much you matter.

By the way, Walmart had the character!!!
Stitch.

A Mind Without A Purpose!

Hello! How embarrassed am I to, have been away for so long. After coming back and reading my last blog post, I feel down right silly.

I thought that the primary focus of my posts here were still fitness. I kind of got off track, with the whole fitness thing, but that is another post. Since I got off, so many times I wanted to come write, but I always felt like “Ehhh I don’t have anything to say.”

Had I came and seen my last post, I would have at least been able to stay on top of myself, stay on top of my children.

Kinda got lost in the sauce.

We had ONE really good week. I had my cleaning schedule, for the entire week, I stayed on top of the clothes (washing, folding AND the dreaded hanging…IDK why I hate hanging clothes up in the closets as much as I do…but I do), my house was clean, my husband was happy, The Servant was busy, but in bliss…..

then…..

I don’t know what happened. I guess I do. One day I wanted to be lazy, which turned into a week of laziness, which turned into a bigger mess, which then made me want to put it off even further, which eveeeeeeeeentually put me back in old habits, which is the slow…slow…slow here and there distracted kind of cleaning.

I can’t help but to think that, had I come to this blog, and be reminded of how detemined I was to do better, that I would have actually put forth the effort to do so.

With that being said, I apologize for being gone for nearly 2 months. More than apologizing to my imaginary audience….except you, you wonderful person, who more than likely accidentally stumbled across this post, thank you for taking the time to read 🙂

But I should more so apologize to myself, avoiding this blog, was avoiding my reality. Whether it be avoiding my fitness goals, or my pursuit to overcome my lackadaisical attitude, avoiding my reality was avoiding the person that I WANT to become.

If only I could close my eyes and magically make a wish.
If only I didn’t have to actually WORK at being who I want to be.

Thus, brings the title of this whole post:
“A Mind Without A Purpose”

Just blissfully ignorantly going through life, thinking thoughts, dreaming up ideas, but let them remain hidden, buried in your brain behind a millon other thoughts.

For me, that is the purpose of blogging, similar to journaling, it is to extract all thoughts with a purpose and write them down, making them concrete.
Taking them from mere thoughts, to reality merely by making those thoughts visible.

I am the make up of my thoughts, and if everyday I read my thoughts, they will build, they will build me, they will one day become so large that they can’t just fit on the screen of a blog profile.

They will become alive.

With that said, I am back.

“Hi. My name is Shay and I am The Servant to, 4 Kings and a 9 month old Queen.
I am here to transform.”

Mastering Motherhood & The Role of A Wife

Many of you who may know me personally, or have been reading my blog posts, are (or should be) aware of the fact that I do not have my life together. What I mean by that is I am still trying to find my place in the world of being a domesticate (is that a word?). I want to grow as a mother and a wife. I didn’t have many role models in either area, growing up. My mom, a young (very young :-/) teen mom, who was not only learning life for herself, but also trying to build a life for me. I totally get it, being able to feed your children, is a whole lot more important than doing arts and crafts or baking cookies with them, so I don’t judge, I don’t regret or resent, but still I would like something more for my own children. That’s perfectly right, right?

I can probably say what kind of mom that I don’t want to be, better than I can what kind I want to be.

I don’t want to be a lazy mom. I don’t want to be the kind that knows what should be done, but just don’t have the energy or drive to do it. In that I mean anything in general, discipline, creativity, emotional needs. I want to be present in every aspect of their lives. I don’t want to be a friend, but I do want to be a mother that they can trust, in their moments of pure fear, sorrow, fatigue, worry, or elatement. I want to be present, and I want them to know that I am present.

I want to raise well rounded men (and woman lol the Queen). I don’t want them to feel like they have to confined to any one dimension of life. I want them to feel comfortable and confidant in any setting. I don’t want to leave them feeling lost or uncertain because of something that I failed to prepare them for.

I want them to have the faith and self belief to know that with effort they can accomplish anything or become anything that they set their mind on. I know that there is no perfect parenting, there is no perfect person, or any perfect way, but I want to know that I am making an effort, for them, to be what they need.

In doing so you must first admit that you don’t know all of the answers and I don’t! I say that I am “studying” how to master motherhood and become a “Good wife”, I say that because I read other womens blogs, and pick their brains, trying to piece together my own life in the mean time.

I have probably put more effort in mastering motherhood, than I have on finding my role in being his wife. Even so much to add that he made me mad, and I quit the Love Dare lol. I will pick it back up, I will but he really made me mad! lol I have also been reading: “My so called Life As The Proverbs 31 Wife.” So far it sounds a lot like this blog post, a woman lost in her own ways and trying to find her position as a wife.” I will say it is encouraging reading the journey of a woman that sounds a lot like myself, knowing that she found her way. If she can then I can.

So far, what I have gathered is running a household is a lot like running a business.

Dad= CEO (hardly ever present, but makes the rules)

Mom= Manager (present and enforces rules.)

Kids= Employees, worker bees (do as you are told) lol

“Do as you are told”, that’s funny because I am a nurse, and that sounds a lot like my life at work right now.

Anywho, when I say dad is hardly present, I mean he is at work. Whether you are a SAHM, and dad is gone during the day, or in my case, my husband travels and is literally gone for weeks at a time (or so it seems, he would argumentably say he is only gone for a week at a time.)

If a manager at a business was slacking, and not making sure the employees were performing efficiently then the business would begin to crumble, the CEO would blame the manager for not enforcing rules,and the manager will be fired.

Well not to say that he would fire me as his wife…HE WOULD NEVER…. but it is important that moms (more specifically speaking of myself), not let the kids slack on following the rules, because in interfere with stability, consistency, and it sets the tone of the household as if dad’s words does not really matter, devaluing or minimizing the role of the father in our household,or them growing older, believing that they can manipulate women to get what they want.

So my first homework assignment is to learn how to hold the children accountable, and not be dissueded by their cute little faces, but to enforce the rules around the house, and to not only tell them what to do, but to also oversee and make sure that they have executed it to satisfaction (oppose to letting it slide, because HEY at least they tried……yeaa I let a lot of sliding go on around the house.)

Why “Just” Being A Mom Is More Than Enough

I am not a SAHM, I have four children and the closest I have come to being a SAHM with any of them is maternity leave, how dare I write such a post, well let me explain….

From practicing my craft at mastering “mommyhood” I learned that there is no such thing as “just” a mom. Maybe it was a new lesson learned, but a realization that we (moms in general, working moms, wahm, and sahm) work hard!! We work hard for our children.

Having children IS work.

If you are the mom (and I am not judging any one here) who have children and that is it, providing food, shelter, love, ect. then you may not feel the hardship that mothers, who are more involved may feel.

I used to be one of those moms, I would provide for my children, I would love them, help them with school work, do artsy stuff every now and again, but lisiten to Jo Frost, I realized that I was teaching my children for school, but not preparing them for life.

What about chores, teaching core values such as respect, honor, morals, through actions, not just explanations.

See I would TELL them to clean up this or that, and in most cases they would go and do whatever it is that they did, and I would come behind them and ultimately clean up for them, never showing them HOW to clean.

How can they clean if they haven’t been taught how to do so?
How will they then correct themselves if I just do it for them, instead of explaining to them and having them correct it themselves.

So I cleaned with my kids, I talked them through their chores, assisted with them, explained to them, the how to’s and the why’s…and what I found was doing it WITH me, excited them, they were asking what to do, and even for more to do!

I realized that I was failing them by not preparing them for the real world. Our job as parents is to teach our children how to grow and become well rounded productive adults.

I don’t know about you, but to teach a person the fundamentals of life, all while providing for them, cooking, cleaning, folding their clothes (even if it is a chore, depending on their age, mom is there too), fixing their boo boos, taking them to school, fixing their lunches, PLANNING their meals (because after all we must make sure they are porportionately recieving all of their nutrients)….there is a plethora of things that goes unsaid and unnoticed in motherhood.

So to all of the SAHMs out there, you need no validation, no explanations!! I was once home, being ripped to shreds, and I thought “Going to work is my vacation….I want to go to work.”

Running a household,
Being a teacher,
a nutrionist,
a nurse,
a maid,
a cook,
a driver,
an assistant,
a manager,
a friend,
a mother…… is EVERYTHING…. never could it EVER be summed up as “Just a mom”.

The Love Dare: Day 1

So that I won’t make this to “diary-ish”, not only will I share how my day goes, I will also share what I have taken from the day’s lesson.
So as you can see, today focused on patience. I will list a few exerts from the reading:

“See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another” (I Thessalonians 5:15)

For me it was inspiration to rid myself of that “I’m going to give you what you give to me,” attitude.

Meaning, just because he may be screaming like a maniac, does not give me the right to do so as well. Sure, my blood may be pumping, sure I may want to react in that manner, but I should instead, react in love not wrath.

At the end of the dare they included another verse from the bible:
“Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
(James 1:19)

Oh boy, if only I had a nickle for how many times K4 has said something to make me angry, only for me to tune out everything else he has said, only focusing on the one thing that he said to get me going…in which I would quickly interrupt him only to make my point.

How backwards is that? I am quick to speak, quick to anger, and slow to hear……because I ain’t trying to hear anything that he has to say!!!LOL Seeing your faults, is making room for growth…room for change.

Anyhow, seeing that verse prompted me to go into my bible and continue to read a few other chapters in it as well, as I am mutually trying to do better at reading and understanding my bible.

In doing so I stumbled across James 3:7 & 8:

“For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed,and hath been tamed of mankind:
But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

Basically saying that we, as humans, have the ability to control all of these things….but can not seem to control the things that come out of our very own mouths.

“full of deadly poison.”

How many times have you said something to someone that you KNOW will hurt them…cut them deep… and you say it anyway?

I know I have. In my marriage I learned a while ago not to do this, simply because … words never go away. I would hate to say something purely out of anger…and it still hurt, even after we aren’t mad at each other anymore. K4 is not the kind of man that just lets things roll off of his shoulders…if something is bothering him, it will be discussed.

It’s hard apologizing for an act that you did intentionally. “I was mad” is never an excuse to hurt someone that you love. I learned that through good old experience.

But it is still applicable outside of marriage, in platonic relationships, work relationships, familial relationships, it is always good to practice patience, and having control of, as well as taking responsibility of our own choices.

It is never anyone else’s fault why we do what we do.
“I said that because YOU did what you did.”
NO! No matter what someone else does to you, or how they may make you feel….YOU still have choices, a choice to do wrong, or the choice to do right. Choose wisely.

Anywho on to today’s dare…Practising patience, and saying nothing negative to the hubs today.

Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate?
Kinda. It is a lady’s worst time of the month for me, I was having bad cramps, and he was playing around in the midst of me having cramps…in my head I wanted to yell at him…”STOP PLAYING SO EFFING MUCH!”….but with this dare in mind, I calmly repeated myself 4 times….stating that I reeeeeeeeeeally did not feel good. He finally got the picture…EVENTUALLY!

Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and let them come out in words?

Ehhh not so much, he was out with the kids, and I slept most of the day, so we did not have much interaction with one another. Instead of negativity, I did praise his fatherhood, and how I felt that he was an amazing dad!

I did say that I would try to apply these with the children as well…..uhm, yea. I yelled at them today. I was frustrated with repeating myself, I did not have the dare in mind, until after I yelled, and then I felt bad :-(.

In all of that, on to day 2: Kindness!

Crazy Things They Do For Love…

So, I am back. Well I never left, but I had a week off from work, when that happens, I am off from blogging as well, because I don’t have time to sit at a computer with peace of mind in my home….a home to 2 children, a toddler, and a semi newborn…is 6 months still considered newborn??? Anywho, during this time off, my lovely husband, K4 took the week off as well.

We enjoyed the entire week together, finishing up with a spectacular Valentine’s Day, which I made into an event as always lol. He then returned to work that following Monday, I still had a few days off, leaving me time to recount our lovely time spent together….and that is when it hit me!!!!

I have dedicated myself on a “hair journey”, caring for my hair and reaching lengths, that I once thought was impossible as an African American, I am struggling through, though trying to commit to a weightloss journey (sometimes eating like a fatty is sooooo much fun…and being lazy only seems right!) Anywho all of that is about me…for me!

I am not a selfish person….AM I??? What kind of mother am I? What kind of mother do I aspire to be? What am I doing to grow in that area? What kind of committments have I made to bettering my motherhood?

Same applies to me as his wife, what kind of wife am I? I spew over Facebook groups all day long with motivational weightloss pics or hair pics. Sometimes I am up and working out before I have even made him breakfast.

Bettering myself is great, I have to make time for me…but it should not take time or quality away from the family in doing so.

Then I remembered, I have this book “The Love Dare”, supposedly it is a 40 Day marriage challenge. I have had this book for years….YEARS…like 2008ish…it hasn’t gotten lost for a reason I suppose. But I thought in dedicating myself to all of these new challenges, how dare I never complete one designed not only to better me, but to better my marriage in the making.

All of that leads up to now, me disclosing that I will be joining the “Love Dare”.

Day 1, “Love is Patient”, will start tomorrow. The dare is to be patient and say NOTHING negative to your spouse that day. Nothing….negative!!! Guess we shall see how this goes lol!

My feelings upon entering this is excitement!!! No my marriage is not in trouble, we are not fighting, but we are always looking for growth, and growing together is key! I look forward to seeing his reactions throughout the course of this, and mostly just excited about becoming a better me…for him! My plan is apply the dares to my children as well. After all love is love…and a happy wife = a happy life….. so when mama is all bubbly and full of love, my household will benefit from it the most 🙂

The Truth About Falling In Love…..at 17.

My relationship with my husband, has not been an easy one, nor has it been perfect. When I think back to the very beginning, I can not say exactly how we managed to make it here today, witnessing many marriages….turn to divorces, and some how WE have managed to stay in the game.

I met him when I was 17. I was actually seeing someone, who I now refer to as “best thing I never had”, so I kind of gave him (my husband) the cold shoulder. It was maybe a month or two later when he actually persued me again, and by this time, I was over BTINH. In fact, I was over “boys”, I was over desiring a relationship, I was over expectations…yes 17…I had been through it all..woe is me (sarcastic font). I remember our very first conversation, I will not go in detail on it, but I was so nonchalant, not being rude, but being very honest, as in not caring to impress him, or make a good impression at all at that point.

Still, we managed to talk for 4 hours that night.

10 years later here we stand with 4 children and 6 years of marriage under our belts, now tarnished with imperfections, yet  still completely smitten.

Now to be completely honest, if one of my children were to come to me and question our relationship, in hopes to follow the same footsteps, I would not suggest the same.

Love is cute….but life is real & life can and will get in the way.

Falling in love at 17 meant that I had met a new bestfriend, I had a partner, I had a support system. From losing my grandmothers, grandfather, and dad…from supporting me, helping me, and even financing me in nursing school, I was never alone, he was always ALWAYS by my side. That is the beautiful part.

The truthful part is that I was 17. I was still childish, still selfish, still playing games.

Even getting married at 21, I married because we had a family…well because we had “kids”, at 21 I can’t say that I valued the word “family”. Family means that we are ONE…we are a unit! We rise together, we fall together, there is no separation, there is no division, there is only ONE.

At 21, I was me…he was he and we shared kids and were in love. Now being 27, and living a bit more, learning a TON more, we are a FAMILY.

The difference in my 21 year old mindset, is that me being me, and him being him, makes us two individual people, living two separate lives in one household. Sharing children, is just that, sharing children…and being in love…….well sometimes love isn’t enough. If “love” is the only thing that holds you two together…well it will be a turbulent ride…because you don’t always “feel” that love in marriage. After awhile, life begins to trump love…therefore you MUST build a life together….not just love one another.

So while I feel like my life, my meeting him, saved my life, it is not one that I would want for my children, and that is not to say that it is bad or that I regret it, but I will be honest in saying that the things that “doesn’t really matter”, does kind of matter.

We met at 17…no breaks…I met him…I loved him….I married him.

I never dated around, to really find out what kind of guy works best for my kind of woman. All I know is that my husband and I kinda just work hard(some times harder than others) at making it work.

We had K1, at 19, so neither of us really got to experience that carefree, teenage stage in life. I remember being 21…and fighting so hard between being a “responsible woman” or “having fun”…I remember saying to myself (at 21) “I deserve to be selfish.”

At 27, I now understand that you give up that right, when you decide to become a family. There is no longer “self”…there is “WE”.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not to say that you lose your identity when you decide to become a mother and wife, you are still YOU, YOU still exist, but you are no longer entitled to make spontaneous decisions, that doesn’t just effect you…

Going out and hooking up with different guys…

Up and deciding to take a road trip with the girls…

even something as simple as indulging in “Retail therapy”, can have an effect on the family as a whole.

I also think that it is important to live a little, and get to know yourself, before deciding to share your life with someone.

I know for me personally, one of the most annoying things, was for me to experience personal growth in a certain area, and then have to explain, why I NOW feel this way oppose to before, and almost defend myself, as my husband seemed not to always understand or feel the same way.

Even vice versa, he may pick up new interests or ideas, and I am completely lost as to where and why these changes came about.

So the truth about falling in love at 17….MY truth about falling in love at 17 is….I was not mentally or emotionally ready, but God placed us in situations that introduced us to wisdom, strengthened our weaknesses, and our love for one another.

Though there are some situations that I wish had not had to take place, I can not regret a single moment in our marriage, because it made me a better wife today, a more supportive, and insightful wife.  It made me love harder, hold on stronger, and stand proudful.

The truth is that I am 100% lucky blessed, that he is still here, that he still loves me like he does. My actions, my selfishness could have not only effected our lives, but our childrens lives as well, but I married, a very patient, loving and forgiving man.

Turns out I was blessed to have fallen in love at 17.

There is no way that you can disrespect my husband, my marriage, and it not be a disrespect to me. Had  I known that then, it probably would have made things a bit easier lol, but you live, you learn, and you love.

As always thanks for reading…and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

::Perfection::

As always I was recollecting on my have nots, thinking about where I wanted to go in life, and where I was headed. A question then popped up:

“What is the perfect life to you?”

 

I had to think…of course my mind goes towards finances, because that is where most of my issues lie. Then I thought, nope, with all the problems these celebs have, money can not make life perfect either. Then it hit me….

FAITH!

Having perfect faith in our Father, trusting in Him to deliver us from all of our struggles, our fears, our weaknesses, knowing that our “problems” are already solved would make life perfect.

There would be no reason to worry or fear. Say rent is due and you have no way of paying it….you could stress about it, but what will stressing do for you? How will it change your situation. You could pray it out…

“Lord, I am coming to you, asking you to allow me to see and take advantage of any opprotunites that you send my way Lord, and even more Father, I am asking that you guide me, so that I won’t mistakeningly be misguided by the devil and any of his traps. Lord, grant me the peace, comfort, faith, and trust to follow Your light, in the midst of my darkness.

Amen.”

After saying that prayer, you trust in Him with everything and allow Him to take you down whatever road it is that He leads you. Even if He never makes a way for you to pay that rent and you find yourself being evicted, a lot of people would question Him, doubt Him, this is where a lot of people would become afraid. You have to trust in Him with EVERYTHING!

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

As all of this was going through my head I thought back to last Summer, I had taken the kids swimming. It was just 3 of my Kings and I. I wanted to K3, the youngest, to sit on the steps inside the pool so that I could help one of the other boys. For just a second I just needed him to sit there. He was afraid…he clinged on to me, would not let me go. Although I knew that he was safe, he was scared, although he knew that I would never let anything happen to him, his fear did not allow him to have peace over the matter. I finally got him to sit still and just as I began to shift away, he acted out of fear, and hopped off of step, almost going under water, but of course I was able to catch him. He did not understand, that he was safe on that step. He did not trust, that although I had put him there, that he was safe, his fear did not allow him to trust that. I put him there, because that is where I needed him to be, at that time, and although it may have been scary…all he had to do was just sit there and be safe. It was him acting out of fear, taking measures in his own hands, that placed him in danger. Do yall see where I am going with this???

God is the PERFECT parent. When you think about how much you love your children, when you think about what lengths you will go for them, understand that God loves you even more than that….not to mention that He gave up His only son for YOU!!! How many of us, could/would allow our own children, not only to be killed, but to be TORTURED as Jesus was, but God did that for you and I. We have no reason, no right to question His love, or His place for us in this life. Yet it is human nature, that we do, and that is fine…but in those times, remind yourself who He really is, how hard He really loves, and more important remind yourself that He loves YOU.

He may place us in scary situations, that we may not be able to understand, as I did with K3 in the swimming pool. It is not our job to “act”, we just simply have to have patience and faith, and let God work.

Whether it is a lesson that needs to be learned.

Whether he is moving you out to move you UP.

Whether the reward is immediate or, whether it is set up years on down the line. Trust in Him.

Think about your own children. You don’t just take things away from them, just to be mean. No, you may take away their beloved Playstation 3 because you have gotten them the Playstation 4… or you may take it away as a punishment, for a lesson to be learned. The children, themselves, may not understand your methods. They may not see any good coming from it, until they themselves reach adulthood and they look back and not only can understand what mom or dad was saying, but also be very grateful for the lesson, for it is all in the benefit of them.

So when you feel lost or confused with the events that are taking place in your life, when you begin to feel scared, or alone, when it seems as if life just isn’t fair, remember that you are merely a child to THE perfect parent, God Himself. You may not understand the method to His madness right now, but one day you will get it…in the meantime, just thank Him for being forever present.

“And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you”

Matthew 17:20

Super Mom Who???

Who is this lady known as SuperMom and can she come train me? This week is the first week that my husband has gone back on  the road (truck driver), since having The Queen, who is 4 months now?

Let me just give yall a little run down of my life. I am a night shift nurse, I only work 3 nights a week (THANK GOODNESS), well when I work during the week, I have to rush home to the kids, just to drop everyone off at school, sleep a few hours, then wake to pick them up from school, and  of course I am then, fixing snacks, helping with homework, and making dinner, finishing up only with enough time to through on some scrubs and hit the door!!

MY HOUSE IS A WRECK!!!  I want to bake. I want to enjoy the Christmas season, before it quickly comes and goes…and did I mention that my house is a WRECK!!!!

I am the type of person who likes to feel like I have some sort of control over my day, if not my life. This one week with K4 away has really put things in perspective for me. Laundry is backed up. What straightening up I can do, it is usually with the Queen on my hip. K2 and K3 are forever fighting, and I am screaming “LEAVE HIM ALONE. STOP THAT. GIVE THAT BACK.”

Before leaving K4 (who is my husband, in case you did not know) bought a dog. Upon getting it, I declared that I would have nothing to do with it, I have a newborn that is demanding enough, point. blank. period. HE IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY….I did not take in account K4 returning to  work and who does it fall on??? Of course THE SERVANT!

Poor dog, yesterday I fed him, which I feed him outside bc he is not house trained and I do not want him pooping in the house, well, I placed him out there, of course got distracted in the craziness that is our house, next thing I know the neighbor is knocking on my door, holding him bc he ran across the street. *facepalm* You have to supervise the dumb dog!!!!*

So this morning….After getting off from work, and playing taxi cab (or Limo) driver, as K2 would call me, dropping everyone off to school, I got home, just fed him  (the dog) in the house, because I did not have the energy to stand outside and watch him, and should I have fallen asleep and just left him out, I would NEVER hear the end of it, should something happen to him! Of course I fell asleep before he finished eating and I had to spend a great deal of my day, cleaning up poop and pee 😦 I can’t win.

So dear SuperMom, wherever you may be, can you stop over, and give me a little one on one lesson, because this mommy here is a hot ass mess!!!

Who is 4 Kings and A Queen?

Hi. I am a mother of 4, 3 boys and as of 3 months ago, our very first and only little girl. 4 Kings, representing my 3 sons and FANTABULOUS husbdand, and our very high maintenence and needy 3 month old Queen.

Where do I fit in the picture you may ask? As my 7 year old would say, I am their servent. I am their nurse, their maid, their cook, their teacher….I am just mommy, and I would have it no other way.

As an introduction, I should tell you that I am 27 years old. Met my husband at, 17, might as well say 18, and he has been my rock every since. I am also a nurse, I work full time, nights, weekends, so I am still able to spend the week with my babies. More importantly I think you should know that I am still “studying” “How To Be A Mother.” I don’t have all of the answers, I don’t have my life together cookie cutter straight, sometimes my life is a complete mess, most times my house is even messier. I read mommy blogs, everyday I try to be better than the last. My biggest fear is to fail my children. I don’t want to love them so much that it hinders them, but I kinda sorta could and would do that, if it were not for my semi militant husband. We kinda level one another out, I’m sure a bit of my sugar rubbed off on his hardcore “my way or the hightway” attitude.

That, was our life with boys, now that our Queen has arrived, it seems as if this hardcore poppa will turn to cotton balls, and sugar cane. It’s quite an adventure and I am just excited to be able to experience it, and so blessed to be given such an awesome group of people to experience it with.

So thank you for joining in on this post. I hope you have as much fun on this journey to….being a mother of four, as I do. Help me, pray for me, love me!! LOL Thanks for reading!

Humbly Yours,

The Servant.