Many of you who may know me personally, or have been reading my blog posts, are (or should be) aware of the fact that I do not have my life together. What I mean by that is I am still trying to find my place in the world of being a domesticate (is that a word?). I want to grow as a mother and a wife. I didn’t have many role models in either area, growing up. My mom, a young (very young :-/) teen mom, who was not only learning life for herself, but also trying to build a life for me. I totally get it, being able to feed your children, is a whole lot more important than doing arts and crafts or baking cookies with them, so I don’t judge, I don’t regret or resent, but still I would like something more for my own children. That’s perfectly right, right?
I can probably say what kind of mom that I don’t want to be, better than I can what kind I want to be.
I don’t want to be a lazy mom. I don’t want to be the kind that knows what should be done, but just don’t have the energy or drive to do it. In that I mean anything in general, discipline, creativity, emotional needs. I want to be present in every aspect of their lives. I don’t want to be a friend, but I do want to be a mother that they can trust, in their moments of pure fear, sorrow, fatigue, worry, or elatement. I want to be present, and I want them to know that I am present.
I want to raise well rounded men (and woman lol the Queen). I don’t want them to feel like they have to confined to any one dimension of life. I want them to feel comfortable and confidant in any setting. I don’t want to leave them feeling lost or uncertain because of something that I failed to prepare them for.
I want them to have the faith and self belief to know that with effort they can accomplish anything or become anything that they set their mind on. I know that there is no perfect parenting, there is no perfect person, or any perfect way, but I want to know that I am making an effort, for them, to be what they need.
In doing so you must first admit that you don’t know all of the answers and I don’t! I say that I am “studying” how to master motherhood and become a “Good wife”, I say that because I read other womens blogs, and pick their brains, trying to piece together my own life in the mean time.
I have probably put more effort in mastering motherhood, than I have on finding my role in being his wife. Even so much to add that he made me mad, and I quit the Love Dare lol. I will pick it back up, I will but he really made me mad! lol I have also been reading: “My so called Life As The Proverbs 31 Wife.” So far it sounds a lot like this blog post, a woman lost in her own ways and trying to find her position as a wife.” I will say it is encouraging reading the journey of a woman that sounds a lot like myself, knowing that she found her way. If she can then I can.
So far, what I have gathered is running a household is a lot like running a business.
Dad= CEO (hardly ever present, but makes the rules)
Mom= Manager (present and enforces rules.)
Kids= Employees, worker bees (do as you are told) lol
“Do as you are told”, that’s funny because I am a nurse, and that sounds a lot like my life at work right now.
Anywho, when I say dad is hardly present, I mean he is at work. Whether you are a SAHM, and dad is gone during the day, or in my case, my husband travels and is literally gone for weeks at a time (or so it seems, he would argumentably say he is only gone for a week at a time.)
If a manager at a business was slacking, and not making sure the employees were performing efficiently then the business would begin to crumble, the CEO would blame the manager for not enforcing rules,and the manager will be fired.
Well not to say that he would fire me as his wife…HE WOULD NEVER…. but it is important that moms (more specifically speaking of myself), not let the kids slack on following the rules, because in interfere with stability, consistency, and it sets the tone of the household as if dad’s words does not really matter, devaluing or minimizing the role of the father in our household,or them growing older, believing that they can manipulate women to get what they want.
So my first homework assignment is to learn how to hold the children accountable, and not be dissueded by their cute little faces, but to enforce the rules around the house, and to not only tell them what to do, but to also oversee and make sure that they have executed it to satisfaction (oppose to letting it slide, because HEY at least they tried……yeaa I let a lot of sliding go on around the house.)